深切怀念 唐虹博士

前一天晚上你还想跟我通电话，而我当时在骑车没看见，你就先睡了。第二天，刚起床就听到了消息，而再也没有跟你说上话。

到现在好像还是不太敢相信这三个星期发生的一切，有时候想这要是我做的一场梦该多好。谢谢你这二十年对我的照顾，爱护，关心。很多事情原来觉得理所当然，现在回想不过是你在背后默默付出。你经常跟我们说头疼，而我们却从来没有当回事。虽然现在说什么都没有用了，也没有办法当面说，也只能在这里说，谢谢你这么多年来为我做的一切。

一切来得都太突然，前一天晚上你还安然无恙，与你通着电话。还没有来得及和你说句诚恳的谢谢。这十七年来我的所有成就都离不开你的智慧、努力和关爱。但是在你每天的呵护下，我意识到我一直以来都忽略了你对我是多么的重要。你教了我最基本做人的道德、做事的心态，虽然我依然有时让我叛逆的一面让你操心。而年轻幼稚的我却不明白操心是爱的体现，我很幸运能有你做我的妈妈。谢谢。对不起我没能照顾好你。

亲爱的舅妈，

Life is just so damn unfair sometimes. Like a sudden flash of lightning, it can instantly take away a loved one, leaving a gaping hole in its thunderous wake. During these anomalous life events, one can only hope for two things — that one has lived a life without regret and those who are affected by the aftermath may find support. 舅妈, I’m thankful, and grateful, to say that you have both.

Of the many friends and family I’ve met in our network, I can, without a doubt, say that you’re one of the few who has lived her life to the fullest.

I’ve always admired you for your doctorate degree in Physics, and even more so considering the circumstances of the education system and gender dynamics of the time. You were never afraid to push boundaries of what was considered “normal”, focusing on your career before starting a family. I’ve will always appreciate your fondness for the sciences, which was reflected in your level-headedness and rational approach to the world. I will never forget the time we were driving back from Yosemite, when you probed me on my elementary grade math.

You always had an immensely open perspective; in fact, now that I reflect upon it, it was the most open perspective of all the folks in my parents’ generation. When I got into arguments with my family, you could always understand my perspective which was always a bit different. When I watched you teach/lecture your children, I always thought to myself, “wow, what a cool mom”! (mom, if you’re reading this, i’m not saying you’re not cool. just… more traditional)

You were a fantastic parent. You were always there to support your children, to guide them, to influence them; but never dictating what they should or should not do. You gave them room to explore their own interests, although funnily enough, both of them fell into physics track (I guess you can never be 100% unbiased). Christina/Jeffrey, if you’re reading this, you should know you’ve been extremely lucky. Most Chinese kids are never given so much freedom to explore.

As for supporting the loved ones that you’re leaving behind, I think you’re in good hands. Our families have always been immensely close. You have an amazing sister-in-law in my mom, who has been watching your kids as her own since the moment they were born 20 years ago. My brother and I will support your children as if they were our younger siblings (in some sense, they are). I’ll try my best to keep that Jeffery out of trouble ? We’ll also be here for 舅舅. Maybe we can get him to work less, and travel here more. It will be a long healing process, but we’ll be there for him when he needs us.

So with all that being said, I think there’s nothing to regret, and there’s nothing to worry about. You’ll always remain in our hearts, and may you rest in peace.

唐虹姐姐：
安息吧！这些天，我一直感觉你就在我身边。我能够感觉到你有很多的牵挂与难舍！
放心地一路走好吧！我和媛姐一样会照顾好你深爱的丈夫和两个正在上学的优秀孩子。
从得到你住院消息的那天起，我一直处于焦虑与不安之中。但是，我始终侥幸地认为现代医学的发达是无所不能的。直至，看到那个我不愿接受的信息之后，精神才真的彻底崩溃了！我双手发抖，抓不住手机，不知道要怎么面对这个不能接受的事实。最后，还是在同事的帮助下才拨通了你生前同事的电话。在电话里我哭得语无伦次，她安慰我，告诉了我具体的日程安排。
当时，我工作的城市正下着暴雨，路上挤满了下班的车辆。我奔到路上，站在雨中，不知道怎么才能见到你！
那一夜，我难以入眠，迷迷糊糊中似乎到了北京，我觉得手里提着茶叶进了你家餐厅，看到了橱门下的玫瑰花。
一梦惊醒发现才两点多。我又重新整理行李带上茶叶。赶到机场时，天还没亮。以往坐飞机不是晚点起飞就是晚点到达，而那天，不知为什么？不仅准点起飞，还提前了25分到达。一路之行，我是那么的风风火火又糊里糊涂，直到远远地发现车道上有一辆白色的车向我驶来，才神志清醒。
回想从堂哥带你第一次回老家，到现在大概已经有25年了吧!那次，正好乡下下大雪，我们有机会在一起呆了2~3天，你帮我一起带女儿。女儿那时刚刚学说话，你给她拍照，让她做个漂亮样子。后来，她每次拍照都会说这句：唐虹舅妈说，要做个漂亮样子。
这些年，你太忙了，我们也很少联系。女儿结婚的时候，她问我：妈妈，我真要做漂亮样子了，唐虹舅妈回来吗?
…….谁也没想到，去年的机会错过，竟是将我们这一生的第一次见面变成了最后一次见面。
但是，唐虹姐姐，你给我们留下的记忆永远是：年轻、漂亮、活泼、开朗、热情、大胆、果敢、聪明，还带点男孩子样的闯劲！难怪我那与你一样优秀的大哥会在茫茫人海中选定你，拥有了你，离不开你；而此刻，谁也不愿意承认，但是，我的堂哥不得不接受并且承受这个残酷的现实带来的锥心之痛，从此，真真切切地永远失去了你对他生活上的细心呵护和事业上的无私支持，以及对大家庭的持久宽厚包容与长期的默默奉献！
唐虹姐姐，你可以自豪地含笑九泉。你将永远活在亲友们的记忆里！你将成为孩子们努力上进的动力！你将是这个行业中年轻一代永远学习的优秀楷模！

舅妈， 好难相信这是事实。前几次你来美国的时候我们没见面，我以为还会有好多机会。可是你走的太突然了， 现在后悔已经来不及了。从小到大你一直帮主我，照顾我，支持我。 那天你送给我一只瑞士手表， 我深深感受到你对我的爱，永不忘记。我每次有困难决定时候，你会从不同角度提供你的意见，帮我做最合理的决定。我很幸福可以有你当我的舅妈，留给我许多美好的纪念。