深切怀念 唐虹博士

TO MY DEAREST NANDA CLASSMATE AND FRIEND, 唐虹, A STAR BURNED SO BRLLIANTLY, FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME

 

It was summer of 1990, I was a graduate student in US, and first time set foot in Europe. After a one month workshop in Lake Como on Chaos theory, a Brazilian student and I set out to explore Italy. We first went to Milan, exposed ourselves to the enormous ancient cathedrals. Then Verona, a small city outside Venice, admired outdoor opera, and tasted for the first time a drink mixed with beer and Coke Cola. All is nice and grand until we arrived Rome, the capital of Italy. When we arrived the hotel, the first thing we did was to pay all three nights stay to the hotel owner as we were advised. It is not safe to carry cash in Italy. I went to Vatican city the first day. It was around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, the sun rays streamed down from the skylight in St. Peter’s Basilica Church, and the red robed boy choir walked into the church with the most heavenly voice. It moved a nonbeliever. My next stop was Colosseum. I arrived there just in time to see the ancient building glowing in the afternoon sun. I sat down on the stone stairs around the Colosseum, put my backpack against my side, and started to emerge myself in the magnificent view of the Colosseum. A Gipsy woman came over with a big map in front of me, and said something in a language that I did not recognize. I told her that I did not know what she was saying, but at the same time I felt that my backpack placed against my leg taken away. I stood up, and saw a man running into the tourist crowd while pushing my backpack into a duffle bag. The policeman was literally three meters away from me. As I explained to the policeman frantically that a man took my bag with my passport, the policeman looked rather oblivious. He took me to the police station where there was a line of people (all victims of theft) there, one was crying. The policeman at the station assured me again and again, how lucky I was, that the only thing I lost was my passport and camera, not much cash. He further explained that there was no use to catch the thieves because the jail was already overbooked.

 

Hong and YiFang were graduate students at University of Florence at that time. About a month ago, they picked me up in Milan airport, and drove me to Lake Como. My motel was high up in the mountains, I remembered it was quite a drive to get up the mountain top because the workers of the cable train were on strike that day. We awarded ourselves with a coffee in the terrace of the motel with live Italian opera singing in the distant city of Como. I planned to visit Hong in Florence after my Rome visit. Now, my Rome trip was cut short. I called Hong immediately and told her the unfortunate news. Naturally, she was very calm. Don’t worry, she said confidently (as she always did), we will sort it all out. With all my belongings in a plastic bag, I went to the Chinese consulate in Rome. Hong transferred $100 to the Chinese consulate, faxed a copy of my Chinese passport, and by miracle, I got my Chinese passport on the same day. I took a train from Rome to Florence with a note from the Italian police station stating that I was robbed and not able to pay the train tickets. I spent the rest of my European visit in Hong’s apartment waiting for my American visa to arrive. Hong lived in a very nice apartment in a quiet neighborhood in Florence, I had my own room. I remember the ceiling of the room I stayed was covered with this beautiful painting by Sandro Bortelli, ‘The Birth of Venus’.

 

I stared at it for many hours, and soaked myself in with what I perceived as an European way of life. She also showed me the German Duvet cover where each of the four corners conveniently has an opening for you to grab onto the duvet insert. I looked for these duvet covers later for many years whenever I went to Germany. Hong and I would make simple meals, often involved 茶叶蛋, and had long talks. I was complaining about my trip to the American Consulate in Florence, how police men with machine guns were patrolling around the consulate. Hong was always talking about what food she would make when YiFang came home. YiFang was in CERN during most of my week there. Through these long talks, I realized that I never met anyone who was so devoted and so in love with another human being as she did with YiFang.

 

Hong’s face was beamed when Yifang came back from CERN. She was a different person, soaked in happiness. In the next few days, Hong turned my not so lucky trip into some fun memories in Europe. As physicists, we naturally went to the leaning tower of Pisa. I love this photo of me and Hong in front of the leaning tower. We were so young and so happy. We both were wearing cloths I bought in K-Mart for less than $10 each piece, I remembered they were soft and comfy. I gave one set to Hong because she told me that clothing in Italy was expensive. We then went to Sienna, and had the most delicious ice cream I have ever had.

 

10 years Later, I visited Hong in the Bay area, when Lulu was born. It must be 1999. Again I witnessed the intensity of her love to Lulu like no others. We were talking quietly, with YiFang, my husband Anders and I in the living room, suddenly both Hong and YiFang rushed out of the living room, leaving me and Anders wondering if a disaster had fallen, only to find that Lulu was awake in the next room. My last visit to Hong in the Bay area was after Jeffery was born. I brought with me an used indoor swing that my daughter Freya had grown out of, and a little train set from IKEA. I did not realize that the company Hong worked with had gone public, and she had become rather wealthy. She told me that her colleagues had showered her kids with presents, and they had multiple number of train sets. We ended up taking home a giant wooden train set that my kids played until they had their own electric lego train sets.

 

In the recent past few years, Hong always says, Mingming, you should come back often, and meet with us often. Luckily, I had meetings in Beijing almost every year in the last three years. The last time we met, it was November 2016. After my meeting in Beijing near the Olympic park, I stayed an extra day in LinJuan’s place to meet with Hong and XiaoYan. On the last day of my stay, Hong and LinJuan came to send me to the Beijing Airport. Hong came to LinJuan’s place, and she parked her car along the curb by LinJuan’s apartment, came out in a dark blazer, and a beautiful silk scarf. I said, Hong, you looked just like a big executive. LinJuan reminded me Hong is a big executive. To me, she is always my old college classmate, a dear friend who always takes good care of others, but not thinking much about herself. On the way to the airport, Hong again emphasized the importance of meeting more often in her usual convincing and assertive way. She says, because our kids are going to college, and we are getting older, and we have more time to meet now.

 

After getting the news of her sudden departure, I tried to think about her life from many angles. Tears streaming down, because I felt that she gave so much to people around her, and we (especially me) gave so little back to her. But then, I realize that her departure is untimely for us, however, this is her, her way of living. She lived her life to the fullest. Wherever she went, she made stories. She is like a burning star, burned brilliantly, but for a short period of time. I feel extremely privileged and lucky to have known her, and now to share my stories with her family and friends. In my own way, I will carry on her spirit, spread her love, and keep making good stories.

 

 

 

吴珉珉
July 10, 2017, Ithaca, New York